Fire in the Forge

The beginning of Forged & Tempered LLC is in the picture just above.  The photo is of me holding my daughter right after one of the worst nights of my professional working life.  For 15 years I worked as a Peace Officer.  What you see in that photo is me, exhausted after 16 hours of working civil disturbance detail in Minneapolis during the summer of 2020.  Mere hours before this photo was taken, I was in a transport van that was rushed by thousands of angry protesters. I was sure my life, as well as the lives of the other officers with me, was about to end at their hands.  Thankfully it did not, but as we escaped that mess we were chased through neighborhoods as mass chaos ruled the night. I came home in the early morning, and sat in my uniform in the quiet of the house. I smelled like smoke, tear gas, and sweat and I just couldn't move from my spot on the step. I was numb and in disbelief. Then the smallest, sweetest voice said, "Daddy are you ok?" I replied, "No, can you give me a hug?" My daughter, 4 years old at the time, hugged her smelly and upset father so tightly. As my arms folded around her little frame I am not ashamed to say, friend, I broke down.

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I wish I could say everything got better after this, but that isn't the truth.  I had a lot of trouble dealing with feelings of mistrust and anxiety towards people, and I struggled with loud environments. Less than a year later I was in similar working conditions in Brooklyn Center, as their police department was attacked for a week straight.  My issues only got worse and things finally reached a point where I needed to make a change. I started getting therapy, but I also started re-engaging with an enjoyable past time: exercise and sport. I grew up playing the host of usual sports (i.e. baseball, baskettball, soccer, football) as well as other physically active pursuits like martial arts.  I found a gym and started practicing the discipline of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  I started running, lifting kettlebells, and riding my bike with a purposeful focus.  These pursuits became a powerful "medicine" to me in the battle for my mental health and in my endeavor to be a loving husband and father to my 6 children (YES I SAID 6!!).

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The biggest lightbulb moment for me was when I was asked to volunteer as a gym teacher for the small school some of my children attend. I saw how happy and excited the kids were when gym time came every Friday afternoon. When I challenged them to try a tough exercise, or learn a new game, I saw the spark of self-confidence in their eyes when they finally got it.  It confirmed for me something I always believed deep down: exercise/movement/play are fundamental to human growth and happiness. When we train our bodies, we teach our brains that we can persevere through something that seems challenging. As I said, it was a lightbulb moment for me. I realized I could create a business to help kids develop competence, self-confidence, and an indomitable spirit through physical education and experiential process. My time as a police officer had shown me what can happen to kids who grow up without confidence in their capabilities, and I wanted to do something about that.

 

Like ore pulled from the earth, we too can be made into something new if we submit to the fires of hard work.  On the other side of the process we are with new purpose and capability; we are Forged & Tempered.

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